Twenty-Seven Weeks: Word in the Third

It's incredible how I can start to feel this third trimester set in...how immediately I can feel a difference in circulation and movement as my body continues to change.  My belly has started to move on the outside when Lelu kicks, and I can definitely feel some growing pains as she puts on weight and my belly expands.  Dustin said today he wishes he could fix the uncomforts, and I told him I didn't want him to.  She is growing exactly as she should and it's all part of the process.

I view our upcoming birth in a similar way.  As I get closer to delivering naturally, I have more and more people either see me as either crazy or brave.  No matter which side of the coin they are on, I will say that I feel like I'm preparing for a natural childbirth much differently than I would for an induction or C-section.  Many people ask the question--why go through that pain?  So many are doubtful and even skeptical.  To me, it's like asking someone, "Why would you want to run a marathon?"  A natural childbirth mom confirmed that both are definitely a full-fledged commitment before and during.  She shared that you don't go into either a natural birth or a marathon as an experiment or with "maybes."  You prepare fully to reach the finish line, and reroute only if there is a risk to health.  In the end, not only do you reach a goal that is so incredibly fulfilling, but the journey and preparation is powerfully transformative.  I appreciated her words and have taken them to heart as I prepare to deliver in June.  

Any strong-willed commitment and highly challenging experience is something much beyond ourselves--we learn more about our mind-body connection than ever before.  For me, I don't want to miss that opportunity.  As Alice Walker mentions in my previous blog post, there is nothing more important than how we are born.  Every woman has to find the right fit for her when it comes to her birthing choice, and  my individual hope is to experience the raw and messy process of carrying my daughter and then bringing her into this world.  I want to go through the transformation that the long process entails.

"I believe that the pain of normal labor does have meaning.  The interesting thing about pain is that it is clean.  When you are finished experiencing pain, it is over.  You cannot re-experience it's sensation by remembering it.  Labor pain is a special type of pain.  It almost always happens without causing any damage to the body.

When avoidance of pain becomes the major emphasis of childbirth care, the paradoxical effect is that more women have to deal with pain after their babies are born.  Frequent use of epidural anesthesia drives up rates of cesarian section and vacuum-extractor and forceps births.  Epidurals can cause long-term backache in approximately one woman in every five.  Sometimes the use of forceps and vacuum extractors results in injury to the baby or the mother.  Intravenous lines are painful as long as they are in place and for a couple of days after they are removed.  The more you move and disturb that plastic in your vein, the more it hurts.  Women who have cesarean operations must have a catheter inserted in their urethra...Cesareans usually involve the placement of a surgical drain sewed in the part of the wound most likely to efficiently drain away blood and lymph from the abdominal cavity.  Women find the removal of this drain on the third day painful, particularly when they haven't been given pain medicine and hour or so before the procedure.  Finally the formation of intestinal gas...postsurgery soreness can interfere with a woman's ease in handling her newborn baby.  Each of the procedures and conditions I have mentioned above involves pain after birth.  

The woman who gives birth without interventions, on the other hand, is more apt to be through with the pain when her baby is born.  Often she is euphoric, buoyed on the hormones released after the birth of her baby."  -Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

From the Mouths of Midwives: A Guide to Childbirth

I stopped reading for pleasure soon after I graduated from Oklahoma State with an English degree.  Now days, when I do take time to read, it usually pertains to my work:  yoga information, anatomy, new personal training trends, etc.  However, my friend passed on a book to me last week, and I have been raving about it since, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.  I definitely think it is worth adding to my blog and hope anyone interested picks up a copy.

"There is nothing more important that how we are born.  We have forgotten this simple fact for too long. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, as well as her earlier volume, Spiritual Midwifery, is all we need to reconnect to the empowering beauty of childbirth that is woman's amazing gift for people-ing the earth.  Few books have the potential to improve the live of everyone born on the planet.  This one does."  
                                       -Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple


It's easy to appear obsessed with baby information when you're pregnant or a new mom, but the truth for me is--I've never been on this wild ride before.  Being a seeker most of my life, I've always asked questions when it comes to the ways of the world, and entering into parenthood has been no different.  Generally, in most healthy scenarios, people's kids are the most important focus for them.  Children aren't born with handbooks, and most parents do the best they can in raising their offspring.  In my eyes, the way I carry and birth my child isn't any different--I want to do the best I can, which to me means absorbing as much information as possible throughout the journey.  Obtaining each bit takes me to the next step in finding the right fit for my body, my baby, and our family.    

Ina May's book reiterates some of the reasons we're doing a home water birth, and I thought it would be a good opportunity to write about some of our reasoning behind our birthing choice.  It doesn't have to fit other people, but has felt like the best direction for us.  Within the book, there is some great information on not only childbirth, but nutrition and pregnancy choices also.  No matter where you choose to give birth--in a hospital, birthing center, or at home, she covers so many topics that can prepare & inform women for their journey.  Even if one is not an expecting mom, this is a phenomenal book and gives much insight into birthing among our society.  

What struck me the most is that Ina May writes about her (and her fellow midwives') experiences of watching one natural birth after another--and these births happen safely and successfully in their small Tennessee village.  Ina May's 2007 statistics show that out of 2,028 pregnancies:  95.1% were completed at home with 3.6% non-emergency transports and 1.3% emergency transports.  Within this, there were 98.6% vaginal births, and 1.40% cesarian sections.  

So why is her group having such successful natural childbirths--even home births, when birthing statistics in the rest of the United States aren't as positive?  As the book reveals, these midwives are observing first-hand what the female body is capable of doing, and the knowledge is incredible.  Their insight is drawn through watching a woman labor and deliver naturally--a sense of wonder that unfortunately some of our doctors and OB's haven't encountered, with the common rate of inductions and C-sections.  I believe Ina May's village and experiences are a test-study offering much knowledge in the way of childbirth.  Her stories and statistics are very different than the articles written below, bringing up the question, "Is newer better when it comes to birthing babies?"

In 2007, NBC released an article on maternal death rates.  "U.S. women are dying from childbirth at the highest rate in decades, new government figures show. Though the risk of death is very small, experts believe increasing maternal obesity and a jump in Caesarean sections are partly to blame...

Some researchers point to the rising C-section rate, now 29 percent of all births — far higher than what public health experts say is appropriate. Like other surgeries, Caesareans come with risks related to anesthesia, infections and blood clots...excessive bleeding is one of the leading causes of pregnancy-related death, and women with several previous C-sections are at especially high risk, according to a review of maternal deaths in New York.  Blood vessel blockages and infections are among the other leading causes."  

As one widower comments, “The hardest thing to understand is how in this day and age, in a modern hospital with doctors and nurses, that somebody can just die like that."

CNN published an article in 2011 titled, "Why is infant mortality still a U.S. problem?"  The U.S. infant mortality rate is one of the highest among all developed countries. The disparity in rates within the United States is alarming as well...The most recent statistics from 2007 show that the U.S. rate of almost seven deaths per 1,000 live births ranked the U.S. behind the majority of other developed countries. Thirty developed countries have lower infant mortality rates, according to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, all of them spending much less than we do on health care."

In a MSN Today's Health 2010 article, it revealed that  C-sections are at an all-time high of 31 percent in the United States.  "A government panel warned against elective C-sections in 2006. 'The relative safety of the operation leads people to think it’s as safe as vaginal birth,' said Dr. A. Metin Gulmezoglu, 'that’s unlikely to be the case.'  Women undergoing C-sections that are not medically necessary are more likely to die or be admitted into intensive care units, require blood transfusions or encounter complications that lead to hysterectomies, the World Health Organization study found.  U.S. studies have shown babies born by cesarean have a greater chance for respiratory problems."

With unnecessary C-Sections on the rise, it's definitely worth exploring the link to these mortality rates.   In addition, some women aren't fully aware of the drugs that are given during childbirth.  Induction drugs never go without risk to both mother and baby, but there are even some drugs being used without FDA approval.

The Improvement of Maternity Services (AIMS) posted, "Most women assume that the drugs offered them by their obstetricians during pregnancy, labor, birth and lactation have been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration as safe for use under those condition. The fact is, there is no maternally administered drug that has been proven safe for the fetus. Nor is there any law or regulation that prohibits a physician from prescribing or administered to a childbearing woman a drug that has never been approved by the FDA as safe for such use."  

A good example of this is the drug Cytotec.  There is much controversy over this induction drug, amidst the crossfire,  the FDA states the following for women who may receive Cytotec (or Misoprostol) to induce labor:  "Misoprostol is sometimes used to decrease blood loss after delivery of a baby. These uses are not approved by the FDA. No company has sent the FDA scientific proof that misoprostol is safe and effective for these uses."

These are only a few articles from a sea of thousands, but no matter where or how people choose to deliver, it's always good to explore the information & options surrounding different methods of birth.  There are pros and cons to every side of child birth, so each person has to weigh their situation personally.  As every woman is different, and I believe the most important thing is that we have choices in how we bring our babies into the world.  Our freedom to decide is invaluable despite which method we choose to deliver.  But I will say through my research I have learned that the topic of childbirth isn't much different than politics or religion--with so many opposing viewpoints, it may not be suitable for the dinner table unless you're ready for a heated debate or food fight! 

25-Weeks: Wave Goodbye to the 2nd Tri.

We have reached 25-weeks, and it is almost time to say goodbye to the second trimester.  Although the first part of it started out a bit rough, the last few months have been wonderful.  My first trimester was filled with nausea, fatigue and a bit of anxiety around being in the "red zone" with a higher miscarriage risk.  Week 13-18, I was on-and-off bed rest and after that it was smooth sailin'.  I think your body gets a bit more settled, my mind was able to calm down a bit, and I could enjoy the daily things that I'm used to.  I hope the third trimester treats me well!

Sunday night was the first time Dustin was able to feel Lelu kick.  It was priceless to watch his face light up with such surprise and excitement, I think it will be one of my favorite moments during pregnancy.

We had our midwife appointment and I am measuring according to schedule.  I have definitely had to stay on top of nutrition--during my February appointment my midwives told me I needed to be eating more.  I was a bit startled and wondered if they were talking to the right person.  As someone who always has loved food, I enthusiastically nodded and agreed to pick up the pace.  Easier said than done.  Eating 5-6 small meals a day takes a lot more planning than just the regular three.  I have had to get creative and am very thankful for the Whole Foods and Sunflower Market that our house is positioned in between.

I continue to rave about how yoga has been a lifesaver during pregnancy.  I feel like I would have many more aches and pains without it.  Being able to move during the day has also helped.  Many of my clients sit during the day, and I know it is hard on their bodies.  I think it would be extra hard on a pregnant body.  My feet started feeling a bit swollen (nothing noticeable), but I have since committed to wearing only extra supportive shoes, which fixed the issue immediately.  It also gave me an excuse to go shoe shopping!

Overall, life has been good, we are looking ahead to some baby showers in May.  As I mentioned in the below blog, the baby registry was very new to me.  I really appreciate all of the friends and family who have helped me prepare for Lelu's entrance into the world.  If you are also a pregnant mom who feels clueless about registering, make sure to scroll down below, there are some great ideas for baby registry!

I also want to fondly mention the Green Bambino, on 50th & Shartel in Oklahoma City.  They have been so helpful with information on cloth diapering, breastfeeding, as well as other things.  I am so happy to have a registry with them, they are local and offer monthly educational seminars for new moms.

I hope everyone has a wonderful St. Patrick's Day!  Many blessings to you and your families.

May you always walk in sunshine.
May you never want for more.
May Irish angels rest their wings
beside your nursery door.
And for the proud parents:
May God grant you
a wee bit of heaven
to cradle in your arms -
a sweet bonny baby
to hold close to your heart
A newborn babe
brings light to the house
warmth to the hearth
and joy to the soul
for wealth is family
family is wealth.

Old Irish proverb

From the Mouths of Moms: Registry

So if there are any pregnant people out there like me, you may be completely in the dark when it comes to registering for your first baby.  Walking into a baby store for me was like entering a Trekkie fair...so foreign and prone to cause anxiety attacks.

But I had some new moms (none pictured above) that were kind enough to email me over lists of their favorite baby items.  Their lists helped me so much, I decided to include them on my blog in hopes of helping any other registry strugglers with their quest.  "Live long and prosper" as the Trekkies would say...

The Urban Chic Mom:  this mom has fabulous taste within her home and baby picks, she is updated on the latest styles and always looks amazing around town.

1) Diaper Bag- A backpack.  I know it sounds dorky.  But it helps so much when you have two arms/hands free.  Getting baby out of the car etc.  My favorite is Petunia Pickle Bottom Boxy Backpack.  They are expensive, but worth every penny.  They also have a changing pad that folds out from the front which is awesome.  I would get one with the slick waterproof fabric (not the silk)  http://www.petunia.com/  They have these at lots of places around town.  Pottery Barn Kids, Ladybugs and Lizards, and Room to Dream, etc.

2)  Adan + Anais swaddle blankets.  They are made of muslin or bamboo.  So soft.  And they are breathable if it gets up around baby's face.

3)  Don't get a bumper.  I took mine out within two weeks.  Waste of money.  Experts are advising against them bc of SIDS.

4)  Fisher Price Swing. It is MAGIC MAGIC MAGIC.  I've had friends try other swings with no luck.  Everyone I know with this swing swears by it.  I would get the one with that you can plug in.  There's only one and you can only get it online.  http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4360510

5)  I think girls are different.  But my son loved his exersaucer and his play gym.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3420756

http://www.potterybarnkids.com/products/farm-play-gym/?pkey=bbaby-toys

6)  Bumbo - must for feeding and a place to put baby down

7)  Bouncy chair -  you don't realize but you will have no where to put baby down until they can sit up.  bouncy chair is a must

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=10755528

8)  Monitor-  I would read some reviews.  I think you can get one for your iphone now.  We have a Summer one.

9)  Baby bath tub-makes it a lot easier to keep baby from slipping in the sink or tub.

10)  Breast pump -  I have a medela that works well, although they are expensive.  

11) Bottles tend to be up to baby.  Some babies are very particular about which nipples they will eat from.  Especially if they breastfeed.

12)  Boppy -  good place to sit up baby and good for feeding

13)  Chicco has the highest safety record for car seats.

14)  I have an Uppa Baby Vista stroller.  Expensive, but I love it.  It's big.

15)  Wipie Warmer -  I didn't get one with with my first baby, but I think it would help with diaper changes.

16)  Thermometer - I've heard the exergen thermometer is the best.  I'm getting one for my second son.

17)  High Chair -  You don't need this right away, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE our high chair.  It's by Boon.  There are no cracks or crevices for food to get caught.  Easy to wipe down, and you can put the trays in the dishwasher.   It's expensive but worth it.  

18)  Sophie the Giraffe -  lots of babies love sophie for teething.

19)  Lots of books!  We love books!

The Green Mom:  This mom has been researching some eco friendly items for her little one.  Organic, non-toxic and environmentally stable registries can definitely be beneficial for baby and Mother Earth.

1.  For a crib (and really anything else thats gonna be close to baby) I heard that there are numerouse toxins emitted by most furniture and bedding.  There is a website that we got for our son's crib called fawnandforest.com.  They have a good selection of eco-friendly cribs and they tell you exactly what makes them eco-friendly too.  A lot of them are also tax free and free shipping.  And, what's even better is they give you a free gift card for your purchase.  Check them out!

 

2.  You'll want a humidifier or a cool mist humidifier.  I had mine within the kids' reach and thought that the steam ones work better.

 

3.  I love rocking the babies also!!  But rockers can emit toxins, so it 's a good thing to research.

 

4.  I agree, had bumpers before and am not getting one this time.

 

5.  We bought a restaurant style highchair with our second child and I loved it.  Easy to clean, cheap, and saves space.  You can get them at Target for around $50.

 

6.  If you're doing cloth diapers, I've read that coconut oil is a really good diaper rash salve for cloth, but suppose it'd work for disposables too.

 

7.  Get some lansinoh and the soothies for breastfeeding. 

 

8.  The Fisher Price cradle swing - my second child loved it.

 

9.  I think the Jenny Lynn or Lind line of furniture is also pretty eco-friendly as far as the finishes go.  And it is totally back from the 80's, love it!!

 

10.  I didn't bottle feed either of my kiddos at all, so that will be new territory to me this time!!  I'll keep you posted.

 

11.  A baby bath, my friend got me this really cool super simple easy to clean little tub thing made in France.  She has four kids and swears by it.  It's called the Daphne adjustable bath seat.

 

12.  Stroller/carseat, the Snugride 35 is awesome!  I wouldn't get a travel system.  The strollers are so bulky and hard to move around.  We got the one that is just a frame that the carseat can hook on to and another stroller for when he gets older.

 

13.  The mommy  hook!!  It's a giant hook that you put on your stroller to hold all your bags or purse. (Often when shopping somehow bags end up in the stroller and baby in your arms.)

 

14.  We decided to get the baby bullet and try making our own baby food.  It comes with everything to get going and a little cookbook.

The Practical Practice Mom:  This mom is on-the-go with her full time job as a mom & part-time job in the medical field.  Her laid-back approach has helped her narrow down some no-frill items that she has found useful for her baby.

• Bumbo
• Boppy (we actually had two, one that was like a disk shape and one was a "U" shape. Everyone I know loves the U shape for nursing, I just didn't end up using it, but my son slept in the disk shaped one alot.)
• Sophie the Giraffe
• A Play Mat (square mat with toys and mirror dangling over the top, babies love this!)
• Adan & Anais swaddle blankets (by far the cutest, I didn't hardly use any others)
• Swing (although my son didn't use it, every other baby on the planet loves them)
• Baby bathtub (I had one that was foam for in the sink and used when he was really little and then a plastic one for the next few months)
• Thermometer (but if you have one of those forehead measuring ones already, I'd use that)
• Breast Pump
• Bottles typically come with the breast pump, I'd try those first. 
• Monitor...we were fine with the sound only one. Quite honestly, you can hear throughout our house anyway. Some like video, which are a little more expensive.
• Diaper Bags - Maybe figure out how many and what size of bags you'll be carrying (big purse, little clutch, just a wallet?) and see what would be most efficient for consolidating. A cute bag that would double as diaper bag and you could throw in your purse essentials easily, would be nice. or if you have a small purse you can just throw into the diaper bag. It's nice to have one bag that is good for travel, that can hold enough stuff for the weekend if you go to your parents, but you may not want to carry that every day. I ended up with a weekend bag and a diaperbag/purse. 

Some Things not Mentioned yet:

• You'll also want nursing bras and Lanolin, but you may not want to register for that :)
• Teething rings; these small net things you fill with fruit and baby can suck on them; lightweight rattles/toys for when baby is little (most are heavy plastic and they can't lift them)
• Some sort of large outdoor blanket for laying in the grass with baby (big enough you can both fit on it)
• Some sort of sidecar, bassinet, if baby is going to sleep in your room initially. Bassinets on wheels are nice so you could move it around to wherever you are during the daytime.
• Baby bedding - I wanted one after my baby got older just for cuteness...safety is mainly an issue when baby is newborn and can't move the head. My son didn't even sleep in his crib the first few months so it didn't matter. You'll also want several bed sheets. 
• Pack-n-play: I'd get the Graco with as few frills as possible. All you use this for is travel, no need for lights and hanging toys etc. Ours is a chico and it is heavier, more expensive, and has unneccessary frills (My husband bought it obviously.)
• A tabletop changer and cover, this can go on top of any piece of furniture, doesn't have to be a "changing table", per say.
• As far as strollers, if I could re-do this: I would either get a basic frame for the first 5 months, this is just a lightweight frame that the carrier pops into and then once baby can sit up, I'd decide to either get a umbrella stroller (cheap & easy, but not for working out), or I would buy one like I have now for my second baby...Britax from the beginning that works for both carrier and sitting up baby.  You can either register for one, or find on criagslist, which is what I did. The main thing is you want lightweight, easy to open/close. I'd sacrifice storage etc for less to carry around. I would not get the whole "Chico System". Bulky and not the easiest to move around. I had one passed down to me and I never liked it.
• Extra base for carseat, so that you have one for you and one for the husband.

Things I would avoid:

• Any unneccessary thing that is just a specialized version of stuff you already have (like a special brush just for cleaning bottles or a special thermometer for baby, if you already have dish brushes and thermometers it is just more junk to store somewhere.) 
• Random things like thermometers for measuring bathwater....your hand works fine :)
• Too much older baby stuff bc you'll kind of find out what you like/don't like as you jump into the parenting role and so it may end up being stuff you just store and then don't use. (Baby food makers are good, but you also may want to just use your blender.)
• I'd also wait on the high chair. You may want just a seat that attaches to a chair.

 

 

 

 

20 Weeks: Half Way There...

We finally reached the half-way mark in the pregnancy, and I'm happy to say the last few weeks have been a bit better than the first 18!  I've started to feel better, have been managing stress levels as best I can with the big move, and haven't had any problems or complications health-wise.  Moving houses was a lot of work, Dustin and I agreed it was the most "stuff" we've ever moved!  But looking back, we were in the former house for about 5-years and things definitely can accumulate.  I am just happy that we are getting settled into our new Belle Isle home, it feels like where we are supposed to be.  Between the windows, sunlight, space and a few new (to us) amenities, we are so thrilled to be able to welcome our baby into the world here.  And did we mention...we're having a GIRL?...

Easley Lu Faye Maynord (or Lelu) will be entering the world around June 28th, Lu meaning "famous warrior / light" Faye meaning "faith" in French, "fairy" in English.  She is getting much bigger, and her sensory development is in process--which means she should be able to hear right around this time.  I've been singing to her in the mornings, and Dustin and I have been talking to her more and more now.  I am starting to feel some little kicks a bit more frequently, and the reality is setting in that there's a living creature in my belly.

We are just now getting a few items in Lelu's nursery and looking ahead at baby shower dates.  Thank goodness for her two older cousins, Olivia and Ella--we will have close cousins to play with and many cute outfits and "girl stuff" passed down to us, yay!

                                          Olivia

                                          Ella

I had a friend ask me over the weekend if I was nervous or scared to bring a child into the world and honestly--I have had a great sense of peace about this new little life.  I know part of being a parent is worry and fear for your child, but all of the work I've been doing will hopefully help minimize some of those emotions so Lelu can enter into an calm, healthy environment.

I think at this very new point, the advice I would give a couple that are thinking about having a baby--work out any of your own issues first as a person.  No one is ever perfect, but if there are things you aren't happy with in yourself, take time to resolve them and find the resources to heal.  I feel like the self-work both Dustin and I have done over the past several years will be one of the best gifts we can give our daughter, and I hope to continue that work as individuals and a family.  I believe life can offer continual growth opportunities, and if I am brave enough to take them, I can set an example for my child to embrace those opportunities also.

As long as my first trimester felt, the holidays and last few weeks have gone by fast.  I have a feeling with Spring approaching, time may not slow down.  I am grateful once again to all of my friends and family who are continuously supporting me through the pregnancy and move.  Surrounding yourself with the love of others can truly remind you of the goodness of life.

Cherish each day as you go through life   

Enjoy the fun and forget the strife

See the beauty and remember it long

Keep in your heart a pretty song

Smell the roses and ignore the thorns

Enjoy your friends and forgive their wrongs

Savor the goodness that each day brings

And this life you see will bring wonderful things

-Dave Tanguay

Ten Plus Seven.

We have been through a roller coaster of emotions over the last few weeks, and I think when you're internally trying to sort out your own thoughts...sometimes it's hard to express them externally.

I will begin with this:  at seventeen weeks, we are so happy to have a healthy baby whose growth is on track.  It was an amazing feeling to see "BayMay" at our first ultrasound, we will go for a follow-up ultrasound in a couple more weeks and find out the sex, hooray!  However, right before my second trimester, we were faced with some mild complications that has put me on-and-off bed rest.  My pregnancy is a little different than I would say most "normal" ones, but I feel fortunate not to be facing some major problems or issues.  It's just been a matter of getting off my feet, resting much more, and slowing down my pace.  That has been easier said than done and undoubtedly life-changing.

The basic tasks like going grocery shopping, picking up the house, or running errands have been wiped off my plate over the last several weeks.  All of my energy has gone towards work and "sitting on my egg."  Although simplification is good, I haven't been able to keep the house going like usual, so Dustin has had to pick up much more in addition to his full-time job.  He has been an amazing teammate, I am so fortunate to have him as my husband.  Our closest friends and family have been lifesavers when it comes to helping us along...oh, did I mention we're in the process of moving?

After finding a house in Belle Isle, we thought that moving in my second trimester would be fine:  you supposedly feel the best, I anticipated having extra time, and we could get settled before the baby arrived.  WRONG.  After the last few weeks of complications, nothing has gone as planned...and I chuckle a bit thinking about the irony.  But as I mentioned, we have had friends and family gradually help us pack and move things over to the new house and what lucky stars we have!  When the going gets tough--THEY have all been the tough that gets going.  Even drop-byes while I've been on bed rest has made the biggest different over the past several weeks.  God I'm blessed.

Teaching yoga has been an amazing job, especially during this time.  Between my seven weekly classes and additional private clients, I have found a sense of purpose, adventure, and satisfaction in my work.  I come home in a blissful state and look forward to reading, practicing and absorbing more as I continue to build my teaching and training.  My yoga mentors and teachers, Holly Bray and Shawna Sershon, have been so wonderful in helping me propel forward--I am very thankful for both of them.  I will say, BayMay is going through quite a growth spurt over this past week, and I feel like I'm beginning to "pop" out.  I've starting telling my classes that we're expecting so they won't think their yoga instructor is just piling on the pounds due to extra donuts...although, those probably don't help either. (-;

So in a nutshell, the Maynord's lives are changing--all THREE of us!  Dustin and I talked over dinner about the difference of just taking on the tasks vs. taking on the challenge of growing as a person.  You can always choose the option of moving through your day in a trance-like state, bearing and grinning with what you have to do--going mindlessly through the motions.  Or, you can take on the complex process of really growing as a human being--going through the growing pains, but also learning and truly transforming.  I have taken on this challenge, and my goal is to bring this baby into a calmer, wiser, and more grounded environment than perhaps I would have provided years ago.  Addressing the emotional in addition to the physical may not be the easier route, but in the grande scheme of life...I'd have to say it's worth it.

In the last few weeks these are the things that have been reiterated to me:  life isn't about stuff, it's about people.  We can't always control what our bodies might do, the things around us, or what happens to us--relinquish that control.  Take some time to breathe, create space, let go, and accept where you are in life.  Our society moves at a rapid, destructive pace and when we really stop and look around...why is it SO important that we move SO fast?  It my be hard to sit with ourselves in stillness and quiet, but if we are able to, we can truly reduce stress, anxiety, worry and negativity.  Get out of your mind and into your body.  Stop thinking so much and allow yourself to feel.   Connect with yourself and you open the door to connecting with vast goodness in the world.

May peace find you tonight.

Like a breeze through your window,

sit by your light.

Let it warm by your fire and laugh with delight.

Like a heavenly choir, 

may peace find you tonight.

-Reckless Kelly

Nine, Ten...a Mama Hen.

I've gotten a bit behind on my blog the last few weeks, even though I haven't felt like there have been major changes, I know they are happening.  The baby has completed the most critical portion of development.  Tiny nails are forming on fingers and toes and fuzz hair is beginning to grow on his/her skin.  The baby is kicking up a storm!  Although...I can't feel it just yet, he/she is the size of a kumquat.  No one really prepares you for all of the changes you go through within the first few months--so much happens before anyone can even tell you're pregnant.  They say a baby changes your life, and I believe it starts when that baby is conceived.

As I have written, the physical changes come one after another, and it can be strange when you've never worried about heartburn, sciatica, or a woozy stomach before.  To be quite honest--I salute all of the pregnant women with full-time jobs, I don't know how they do it.  I hear stories about women throwing up in their office trash cans throughout the day, my heart goes out to them.  I know there are some drugs out on the market now that can help with the sickness, and although I haven't had to take them, I most likely would if I had to report to work every morning at 8 a.m.  Fortunately as a yoga instructor just venturing into my teaching, I've been very blessed to be able to take the mornings slow and rest whenever I need.  

But most importantly, I tribute the single moms and those who don't have family or close friends to support them.  I don't know if I could have made it this far without my husband and people around me, the changes can be overwhelming and support has made it so much better.  For those out there with a partner, their lives shift too.  And if they don't--I can tell it would be very easy to grow in different directions.  Dustin and I are very social people, and through the physical changes, it definitely prohibits me from being as socially active.  My husband has been wonderful enough to follow suit, we've stayed in a bit more and had to get more creative with our time together.  I wouldn't say we're lame--I was dancing to the Hosty Duo just a few weeks ago, but you definitely have to prioritize your energy!

So just within the last few weeks, I started to feel much better and joined the holiday hustle and bustle...only about 1/3 of what I would usually do.  Turns out it was too strenuous for my body and I need to be resting more!  I was a bit bummed having to cut down on some holiday festivities, but after some sulking, I made a list of all of the things I want to do with my time:  write more, read more, meditate more, make more music, connect more, be more present in life.  So approaching week eleven, I am like a mother hen sitting on her nest, and I am using it as an opportunity to grow.

Since I have been forced to slow down, ironically in the midst of the busiest time of year, I have been able to gain this insight: Tara Brach, one of my favorite speakers, talks about how we as a society tend to move forward so quickly--anticipating and rushing into our next task or moment.  It has become hard for us as individuals to "just be".  The Chinese symbol for speed means "heart-killing", and we have to admit, the pace of our society can definitely start chipping away at our hearts and bodies.  Tara goes onto explain that we tend to rush through life either because we're afraid something bad might happen if we stop, or something is missing.  Either way, it's okay to have full lives, but there are other ways to manage them.  It is possible to stop, breathe, absorb and be present in our moments because when we are--our actions and choices come from a much more genuine and calm place.  Ghandi took one day a week for prayer and meditation, and we can only imagine how busy that man was.  If one of the most influential men in history could manage time to slow down, can't we?

It's not easy to sit with ourselves and emotions, but if we can soften ourselves to whatever we may be feeling--offer compassion to those places of frustration, doubt, uncomfort--we are able to create space for healing, insight, and peace.  I practice this with my yoga students regularly, but in a physical capacity.  I always ask them if there are any places in their bodies that are tight, or have been aching/hurting. After identifying those spots, we work on breathing into those areas, soften them, and focus on healing energy.    I have to say, everyone always comes away from our meditation with a better sense of awareness and often feeling better on several different levels.

Pregnant or not, I'm sure we could all slow down a bit during the holidays.  There are so many opportunities to enjoy people, moments, music, giving, time together, glowing lights and perhaps traditions.  All I know, it I hope to offer the gift of presence to my little person who will be so important to me.  I want to take in our moments together, the ups and downs, with a fully attentive heart.  I once heard this:  we don't have the time to rush.  Life is short, and I can only imagine the moments start to fly with a child.  Absorb your moments with your loved ones, because I believe at the end of our lives, they are the ones that matter.