Five: Alive!

I'm not sure there are words to describe the last week of my life, it has been slow and surreal combined with excitement and a sense of newness.  Women have gone through the same thing I did since the beginning of time, it is a natural and common occurrence.  But nevertheless, what a monumental experience.  I had brainstormed all of the creative ways I would tell Dustin if it happened to us, and all of those ideas went out the window that Monday night in October when I saw my positive test result:  PREGNANT

It was a week before Halloween, and the air had just changed to crisp and cool; my husband and I had decided only a month before that we were ready to start a family.  All I could do was run to him, test in hand, and show him the results.  From the timeline, one can tell it happened quickly, which was a blessing--I know conceiving can be frustrating and trying for couples.  I had hoped for the best and planned for the worst, and we ended up with a best-case-scenario.

So on October 29th, we reached five weeks.  Our baby is the size of a sesame seed, and it's little micro heart started to beat.  Blood is beginning to circulate through the body and his/her organ system will be up and running.  It's crazy to believe that so much is happening within such a small creature, but I suppose it is the beginning of life.  My mood has been calm, peaceful and present.  I already feel there has been an expansion of the self.  I have taken the last few years to get in touch with my body, mind and spirit, and it feels like there is already another "faucet of me".  Funny how that feeling comes with only a sesame seed.  But perhaps I believe there is already more--there is a spirit growing and dwelling within me that is separate of my own, but also in coexistence.

I already miss my glasses of wine, but have loved eating nutritious, good foods.  My diet has always been important to me, and now it is tenfold.  I have loved riding my bike in the beautiful Fall weather, and practicing/teaching yoga.  I believe yoga will be a huge part of my pregnancy journey, I am so fortunate to have it.  It has been within the last two months that I have reconnected with my practice and decided to reroute from the fitness industry/self-defense, to teaching yoga.  Since I began to follow that intuitive calling, opportunities have been arising to teach and train.  There has been an enormous surge over the past few months reiterating that God and the universe are truly real--and as I follow my inner heart and gut, a fantastic plan will continue to unravel before me.  I know this baby is a part of that, and I look forward to the adventures that lies ahead.

World Of The Womb 

Tikva Frymer-Kensky

My eye cannot see you.

My will cannot control you.

But I feel your presence,

and I note your being

and I wish you all blessings,

and I love you.