From the Mouths of Moms: Words of Encouragement

A college friend of mine wrote me recently, and I really wanted to include her letter on my blog site.  She is a beautiful soul and mother, and her words are so encouraging.  I hope others who are exploring natural childbirth can find comfort and confidence in her letter below, I know I did!

"Hey there lady! I just visited your blog (thanks for sharing) and was excited to read that you are planning a natural birth. I just wanted to send you some words of encouragement. I remember the anxiety and excitement I felt when preparing to welcome my daughter into the world. I was nervous about the journey my body was about to take but determined to experience every second of it. I also know how it feels to see the expressions of judgement on the faces of those who don't understand the decision you have made. What was worse were their words. They stung and made me doubt my own abilities. 


Luckily, I was blessed to be surrounded by some amazing women who offered their love and support. My mother told me that I am the only one who knows what my body and spirit can handle and that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I have two beautiful babies and delivered both naturally. Their births have been the most amazing and rewarding experiences of my life. I struggle to put it into words and really there are none that are worthy. I have no doubt that you will do a beautiful job in both delivery and motherhood. Welcome to the fold!"

Prenatal Wellness: Workin' It Out

As a personal trainer and yoga instructor, exercise has definitely been important to me in keeping a healthy pregnancy.  I think the key has been finding a balance between grace and discipline:  when I have been severely nauseated & fatigued--I have given myself grace.  Listening to my body, and not pushing myself has been very helpful, and allowing for plenty of rest.  However, during my cranky and hormonal times--I have found that a little exercise can do a body & mind good.

In my case, I gained energy in the middle of my second trimester and continuing into my 33rd week of pregnancy.  There are definitely days I want to just sleep and rest, but generally I have welcomed some daily exercise.  As I am tapering off teaching my own classes, my schedule has allowed for a bit more time to attend other people's.  Last Saturday I attended a Barre class, which is mix between yoga, pilates, and ballet.  It is definitely a challenging workout, but I modified when needed and avoided heavy ab work.

On the ab note, a friend of mine told me months ago that she was discouraged that no one told her that the abdominal muscles are at risk of separating during pregnancy.  Known as diastasis recti, the right and left side of the ab muscles can separate, leaving a gap in between.  The muscles don't tear or rupture, so it doesn't cause initial pain, but can result in future health complications.  It can be helpful to avoid any strenuous abdominal workouts during pregnancy, quite honestly--I stopped doing any intense ab exercises as soon as it felt uncomfortable and that was in my first trimester!

Some of my runner friends said they ran into week 30 or 31, but didn't feel like they could continue after that.  Walking has been helpful on days that I need some movement but am unable to attend/teach a class.  I also accompany that with some light weight training, targeting arms, chest, hips and thighs.  Moving into a table-top pose (on hands and knees--shoulders stacked over the wrists, hips stacked over the knees) and extending one leg, and possibly an opposite arm, has been good for the core.

I have told multiple people that I believe yoga has been a major key component in feeling well in pregnancy.  It is something I have been able to continue to do--even as I start to slow down.  I just modify and listen to my body on certain poses, and this is where a good, pre-natal yoga instructor can help.  The yoga breathing is also good preparation for childbirth, along with the meditation and calming focus that can be incorporated into your practice.  Yoga encourages a strong sense of body awareness, which can also be an important component in natural childbirth.

I had to do a certification training course for my job last Monday, and our group had to sit for 3 1/2 hours.  By the end of that time my hips were killing me, and I realized how hard a desk job must be on pregnant women.  For those who do sit a lot during the day, I hope you can frequently get up, stretch, and take walks around the office.  Just keeping synovial fluid moving through your body, along with blood and lymph flow can be really helpful.

Overall, between yoga, barre classes, walking, light weight training, and prenatal specified workout classes, there have been some good options to help me keep moving in the last home stretch of pregnancy.  As I mentioned above, I have really tried to pay attention to what my body is telling me to avoid injury or "overdoing it"-- my best advice is never push through pain, or if your gut is advising you against something.  Although we often lose control over areas of our bodies in pregnancy, we can still redefine our relationship with it--sometimes gaining a better sense of body awareness and respect than we had before.

Leap of Faith

I recently wrote a letter to a friend who is making the decision to follow his dream, or stick to corporate America, and I thought it would be something to include in my blog.  We all reach a crossroad in life, and sometimes they call for a leap of faith.  Another friend of mine, who is going through similar situation, compared her experience to the Indiana Jones scene where he has to step out on the invisible bridge.  What a great metaphor and imagery for facing the "unknown", I was happy to be able to post the video below:

• Letter to a Friend:
  
  I'm not sure if we knew each other when Dustin and I took time off of our "regular life" to tour with his band. It was definitely a big decision, he was at the crossroads of following his dream vs. corporate stability also. In the end, we both agreed that if the opportunity was there to follow a dream, we should take it and there may be regret later down the road if we passed it up.
  
  Things panned out in an interesting way--we traveled the country, even into Canada and Jamaica, and definitely made some amazing memories. We lost money, but looking back--no amount of money could compare to the experiences we had. The band had a quick opportunity for success, but the lead singer quit and closed that door for everyone. Ironically, we decided before that time that this wasn't the life we wanted to lead: late nights, travel, bad food, wild company, tolling on marriage...but through the experience itself, we learned more about ourselves individually and as a couple. And again, you can't put a price on that.
  
  As some of your other friends mentioned, we have very few opportunities in life to really pursue our dreams, but when they come knocking--it's for a reason. There definitely is a leap of faith involved, and there's no sure way to know what the outcome will be. But it's truly the journey that matters, and that journey can be one of the most influential times in one's life. You just have to make the decision to take it.
  
  Dustin and I are now embarking on a new journey--parenthood. When you mentioned the "unknown", it resonated quickly with me. Pregnancy, being a mom--all of this is the "unknown" for us. It can be scary at times, but I have chosen to stay focused, mindful, and appreciative of each small step so things don't seem overwhelming. I was just telling Dustin last night that even though pregnancy isn't easy, or the preparation for parenthood, it already feels so rich and rewarding. There is no way we would ever turn back from this incredible decision, no matter how hard or scary things get.
  
  I believe in you, and know that if you choose to follow your dreams--you will open new and amazing doors for yourself and your future. Anytime we are able to honor ourselves and where we are in life, there is little room for regret. I know how passionate you are about your dream, and it seems like you are at the crossroads of honoring that passion. My vote is "do it!".
  
  Much love,
  J.

Week 32: We love you.

This Spring has been flying by!  And as our birth approaches quickly, there are definitely a whirlwind of emotions circulating around me.  For the most part I feel well, there are definitely tired days, but I'm still in full-swing with my job that can be physically tolling.  I'm slowly starting to taper off teaching classes while starting birthing classes this month.  I'm also trying to make sure I stay plugged in to my own physical health through prenatal massage and personal yoga practice.

The "speculation of the unknown" has started to set in a bit more--wondering what birth will feel like, be like, what motherhood will bring, etc.  But all of my wellness practices have helped fight off any anxiety that could manifest when my thoughts get ahead of me.  As a friend once told me:  information remedies anxiety, and that has proven true when it comes this pregnancy adventure.  Having friends and family who have been willing to be candid and open with me about their own birthing and parenting experiences have made the world of difference.  I only hope I can offer others the same kind of support after Lelu arrives.

Researching more about childbirth has also been invaluable, learning more about what the body goes through and what women are truly capable of when it comes to delivering a baby.  I would say the biggest challenge for me as I anticipate a home water birth is keeping my confidence level high.  Natural childbirth is undoubtedly intimidating; but my friends who have chosen that route, and paved the way, continue to remind me that women are built to do this--and I am more than capable of a natural delivery.  I remind myself that it is only one day and I can do anything for one day.  I go back to the fact that I truly believe in my birthing plan and would feel less comfortable if I chose an alternative way.  I remind myself that my body will know what to do when the time comes, it just takes a little trust.  I think about the emotional and spiritual transformation that has already taken place over these last several months, and how my childbirth will be a major building block of empowerment within this transformative journey.  These are anchoring thoughts, and I gain my confidence when I revisit them.

Overall, I think there is anticipation surrounding any approaching childbirth, the process itself brings many emotional and physical changes.  I would say for me, this most important factor through this whole experience has been honoring myself and what I believe is right for me and my child.  There is a sense of integrity when you are "true to yourself" and no matter what the future holds, there is no regret when you are able to get in touch with that inner truth and integrity.

My sister-in-law came over last night and did some maternity photos for us--they turned out amazing!  She is so talented with such creativity and a great eye for photography.  I am happy to include some of the photos on my blog, hope you enjoy!

Twenty-Seven Weeks: Word in the Third

It's incredible how I can start to feel this third trimester set in...how immediately I can feel a difference in circulation and movement as my body continues to change.  My belly has started to move on the outside when Lelu kicks, and I can definitely feel some growing pains as she puts on weight and my belly expands.  Dustin said today he wishes he could fix the uncomforts, and I told him I didn't want him to.  She is growing exactly as she should and it's all part of the process.

I view our upcoming birth in a similar way.  As I get closer to delivering naturally, I have more and more people either see me as either crazy or brave.  No matter which side of the coin they are on, I will say that I feel like I'm preparing for a natural childbirth much differently than I would for an induction or C-section.  Many people ask the question--why go through that pain?  So many are doubtful and even skeptical.  To me, it's like asking someone, "Why would you want to run a marathon?"  A natural childbirth mom confirmed that both are definitely a full-fledged commitment before and during.  She shared that you don't go into either a natural birth or a marathon as an experiment or with "maybes."  You prepare fully to reach the finish line, and reroute only if there is a risk to health.  In the end, not only do you reach a goal that is so incredibly fulfilling, but the journey and preparation is powerfully transformative.  I appreciated her words and have taken them to heart as I prepare to deliver in June.  

Any strong-willed commitment and highly challenging experience is something much beyond ourselves--we learn more about our mind-body connection than ever before.  For me, I don't want to miss that opportunity.  As Alice Walker mentions in my previous blog post, there is nothing more important than how we are born.  Every woman has to find the right fit for her when it comes to her birthing choice, and  my individual hope is to experience the raw and messy process of carrying my daughter and then bringing her into this world.  I want to go through the transformation that the long process entails.

"I believe that the pain of normal labor does have meaning.  The interesting thing about pain is that it is clean.  When you are finished experiencing pain, it is over.  You cannot re-experience it's sensation by remembering it.  Labor pain is a special type of pain.  It almost always happens without causing any damage to the body.

When avoidance of pain becomes the major emphasis of childbirth care, the paradoxical effect is that more women have to deal with pain after their babies are born.  Frequent use of epidural anesthesia drives up rates of cesarian section and vacuum-extractor and forceps births.  Epidurals can cause long-term backache in approximately one woman in every five.  Sometimes the use of forceps and vacuum extractors results in injury to the baby or the mother.  Intravenous lines are painful as long as they are in place and for a couple of days after they are removed.  The more you move and disturb that plastic in your vein, the more it hurts.  Women who have cesarean operations must have a catheter inserted in their urethra...Cesareans usually involve the placement of a surgical drain sewed in the part of the wound most likely to efficiently drain away blood and lymph from the abdominal cavity.  Women find the removal of this drain on the third day painful, particularly when they haven't been given pain medicine and hour or so before the procedure.  Finally the formation of intestinal gas...postsurgery soreness can interfere with a woman's ease in handling her newborn baby.  Each of the procedures and conditions I have mentioned above involves pain after birth.  

The woman who gives birth without interventions, on the other hand, is more apt to be through with the pain when her baby is born.  Often she is euphoric, buoyed on the hormones released after the birth of her baby."  -Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

From the Mouths of Midwives: A Guide to Childbirth

I stopped reading for pleasure soon after I graduated from Oklahoma State with an English degree.  Now days, when I do take time to read, it usually pertains to my work:  yoga information, anatomy, new personal training trends, etc.  However, my friend passed on a book to me last week, and I have been raving about it since, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.  I definitely think it is worth adding to my blog and hope anyone interested picks up a copy.

"There is nothing more important that how we are born.  We have forgotten this simple fact for too long. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, as well as her earlier volume, Spiritual Midwifery, is all we need to reconnect to the empowering beauty of childbirth that is woman's amazing gift for people-ing the earth.  Few books have the potential to improve the live of everyone born on the planet.  This one does."  
                                       -Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple


It's easy to appear obsessed with baby information when you're pregnant or a new mom, but the truth for me is--I've never been on this wild ride before.  Being a seeker most of my life, I've always asked questions when it comes to the ways of the world, and entering into parenthood has been no different.  Generally, in most healthy scenarios, people's kids are the most important focus for them.  Children aren't born with handbooks, and most parents do the best they can in raising their offspring.  In my eyes, the way I carry and birth my child isn't any different--I want to do the best I can, which to me means absorbing as much information as possible throughout the journey.  Obtaining each bit takes me to the next step in finding the right fit for my body, my baby, and our family.    

Ina May's book reiterates some of the reasons we're doing a home water birth, and I thought it would be a good opportunity to write about some of our reasoning behind our birthing choice.  It doesn't have to fit other people, but has felt like the best direction for us.  Within the book, there is some great information on not only childbirth, but nutrition and pregnancy choices also.  No matter where you choose to give birth--in a hospital, birthing center, or at home, she covers so many topics that can prepare & inform women for their journey.  Even if one is not an expecting mom, this is a phenomenal book and gives much insight into birthing among our society.  

What struck me the most is that Ina May writes about her (and her fellow midwives') experiences of watching one natural birth after another--and these births happen safely and successfully in their small Tennessee village.  Ina May's 2007 statistics show that out of 2,028 pregnancies:  95.1% were completed at home with 3.6% non-emergency transports and 1.3% emergency transports.  Within this, there were 98.6% vaginal births, and 1.40% cesarian sections.  

So why is her group having such successful natural childbirths--even home births, when birthing statistics in the rest of the United States aren't as positive?  As the book reveals, these midwives are observing first-hand what the female body is capable of doing, and the knowledge is incredible.  Their insight is drawn through watching a woman labor and deliver naturally--a sense of wonder that unfortunately some of our doctors and OB's haven't encountered, with the common rate of inductions and C-sections.  I believe Ina May's village and experiences are a test-study offering much knowledge in the way of childbirth.  Her stories and statistics are very different than the articles written below, bringing up the question, "Is newer better when it comes to birthing babies?"

In 2007, NBC released an article on maternal death rates.  "U.S. women are dying from childbirth at the highest rate in decades, new government figures show. Though the risk of death is very small, experts believe increasing maternal obesity and a jump in Caesarean sections are partly to blame...

Some researchers point to the rising C-section rate, now 29 percent of all births — far higher than what public health experts say is appropriate. Like other surgeries, Caesareans come with risks related to anesthesia, infections and blood clots...excessive bleeding is one of the leading causes of pregnancy-related death, and women with several previous C-sections are at especially high risk, according to a review of maternal deaths in New York.  Blood vessel blockages and infections are among the other leading causes."  

As one widower comments, “The hardest thing to understand is how in this day and age, in a modern hospital with doctors and nurses, that somebody can just die like that."

CNN published an article in 2011 titled, "Why is infant mortality still a U.S. problem?"  The U.S. infant mortality rate is one of the highest among all developed countries. The disparity in rates within the United States is alarming as well...The most recent statistics from 2007 show that the U.S. rate of almost seven deaths per 1,000 live births ranked the U.S. behind the majority of other developed countries. Thirty developed countries have lower infant mortality rates, according to the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, all of them spending much less than we do on health care."

In a MSN Today's Health 2010 article, it revealed that  C-sections are at an all-time high of 31 percent in the United States.  "A government panel warned against elective C-sections in 2006. 'The relative safety of the operation leads people to think it’s as safe as vaginal birth,' said Dr. A. Metin Gulmezoglu, 'that’s unlikely to be the case.'  Women undergoing C-sections that are not medically necessary are more likely to die or be admitted into intensive care units, require blood transfusions or encounter complications that lead to hysterectomies, the World Health Organization study found.  U.S. studies have shown babies born by cesarean have a greater chance for respiratory problems."

With unnecessary C-Sections on the rise, it's definitely worth exploring the link to these mortality rates.   In addition, some women aren't fully aware of the drugs that are given during childbirth.  Induction drugs never go without risk to both mother and baby, but there are even some drugs being used without FDA approval.

The Improvement of Maternity Services (AIMS) posted, "Most women assume that the drugs offered them by their obstetricians during pregnancy, labor, birth and lactation have been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration as safe for use under those condition. The fact is, there is no maternally administered drug that has been proven safe for the fetus. Nor is there any law or regulation that prohibits a physician from prescribing or administered to a childbearing woman a drug that has never been approved by the FDA as safe for such use."  

A good example of this is the drug Cytotec.  There is much controversy over this induction drug, amidst the crossfire,  the FDA states the following for women who may receive Cytotec (or Misoprostol) to induce labor:  "Misoprostol is sometimes used to decrease blood loss after delivery of a baby. These uses are not approved by the FDA. No company has sent the FDA scientific proof that misoprostol is safe and effective for these uses."

These are only a few articles from a sea of thousands, but no matter where or how people choose to deliver, it's always good to explore the information & options surrounding different methods of birth.  There are pros and cons to every side of child birth, so each person has to weigh their situation personally.  As every woman is different, and I believe the most important thing is that we have choices in how we bring our babies into the world.  Our freedom to decide is invaluable despite which method we choose to deliver.  But I will say through my research I have learned that the topic of childbirth isn't much different than politics or religion--with so many opposing viewpoints, it may not be suitable for the dinner table unless you're ready for a heated debate or food fight! 

25-Weeks: Wave Goodbye to the 2nd Tri.

We have reached 25-weeks, and it is almost time to say goodbye to the second trimester.  Although the first part of it started out a bit rough, the last few months have been wonderful.  My first trimester was filled with nausea, fatigue and a bit of anxiety around being in the "red zone" with a higher miscarriage risk.  Week 13-18, I was on-and-off bed rest and after that it was smooth sailin'.  I think your body gets a bit more settled, my mind was able to calm down a bit, and I could enjoy the daily things that I'm used to.  I hope the third trimester treats me well!

Sunday night was the first time Dustin was able to feel Lelu kick.  It was priceless to watch his face light up with such surprise and excitement, I think it will be one of my favorite moments during pregnancy.

We had our midwife appointment and I am measuring according to schedule.  I have definitely had to stay on top of nutrition--during my February appointment my midwives told me I needed to be eating more.  I was a bit startled and wondered if they were talking to the right person.  As someone who always has loved food, I enthusiastically nodded and agreed to pick up the pace.  Easier said than done.  Eating 5-6 small meals a day takes a lot more planning than just the regular three.  I have had to get creative and am very thankful for the Whole Foods and Sunflower Market that our house is positioned in between.

I continue to rave about how yoga has been a lifesaver during pregnancy.  I feel like I would have many more aches and pains without it.  Being able to move during the day has also helped.  Many of my clients sit during the day, and I know it is hard on their bodies.  I think it would be extra hard on a pregnant body.  My feet started feeling a bit swollen (nothing noticeable), but I have since committed to wearing only extra supportive shoes, which fixed the issue immediately.  It also gave me an excuse to go shoe shopping!

Overall, life has been good, we are looking ahead to some baby showers in May.  As I mentioned in the below blog, the baby registry was very new to me.  I really appreciate all of the friends and family who have helped me prepare for Lelu's entrance into the world.  If you are also a pregnant mom who feels clueless about registering, make sure to scroll down below, there are some great ideas for baby registry!

I also want to fondly mention the Green Bambino, on 50th & Shartel in Oklahoma City.  They have been so helpful with information on cloth diapering, breastfeeding, as well as other things.  I am so happy to have a registry with them, they are local and offer monthly educational seminars for new moms.

I hope everyone has a wonderful St. Patrick's Day!  Many blessings to you and your families.

May you always walk in sunshine.
May you never want for more.
May Irish angels rest their wings
beside your nursery door.
And for the proud parents:
May God grant you
a wee bit of heaven
to cradle in your arms -
a sweet bonny baby
to hold close to your heart
A newborn babe
brings light to the house
warmth to the hearth
and joy to the soul
for wealth is family
family is wealth.

Old Irish proverb